It all went wrong.
We truly can't control our kids.
We CAN control ourselves and we CAN manage the environment.
I'm NOT saying we should take away all of a child's accountability for their actions and let them get away with murder. I'm saying there's a lot of ways we can support and manage an environment to prevent big behaviours - and we can learn from our mistakes.
Prevention is ALWAYS the best behavioural tool!
Next time I'll:
- rethink the activity I choose when my kids are tired and dysregulated post preschool
- support them sooner when I see a disagreement
- finish an activity earlier if they aren't enjoying it or they're starting to become dysregulated.
- help them to create space from each other when they're both frustrated.
- redirect with a calming activity like sensory play or listening to music.
It's really helpful to hash out old situations and plan for what you might change for next time. Our children aren't naughty they're just doing their best with what they have. So when we ask ourselves "what could I have done better" we take a lot of pressure off their shoulders. Instead of telling them to behave, we help them to behave.
Anyway - hopefully my shared example helps one family :)
We've all got this.
Watch the full reel here