Tantrums, misbehaviour, clinginess and asking adults to play are all TOTALLY typical child behaviours. Yes. Read. That. Again.

But all behaviour is communication.
It communicates a need or a feeling.

When we remember this, when we slow down, become detectives and tune into what our kids are trying to tell us with their behaviour, it becomes a powerful parenting strategy. You know your child best, which means you’re already the best person for the job.

Is your child just asking you to play?
- - - > Or are they communicating that they’re feeling a bit unsettled? Have they missed you today? Are they wanting to chat or reconnect?

Is your child just throwing things when they know they shouldn’t?
- - - > Or are they communicating that they feel dysregulated? Are they hungry? Frustrated that you’re busy? Too hot? Overstimulated?

Is your child just clingy?
- - - > Or are they communicating that they’re not feeling very well? Feeling unsure in a new environment? Seeking the deep pressure of a hug or being carried?

When we don’t just pass off what our kids are doing as “kid stuff”, a symptom of the terrible twos or threenager behaviour, we’re much more likely to respectfully listen to what’s being communicated and meet our kids’ needs.

It’s a misconception that kids misbehave to wind us up or simply to test boundaries. Kids don’t want to misbehave. They want to do their best — but sometimes they can’t. Their brains are still developing, their emotional regulation skills are still being learned, and behaviour is often the only language they have at that moment.

There’s truly no such thing as naughty.

So get your detective hat on. Pause, get curious, and look underneath the behaviour for the need or feeling driving it.

You’ve got this.