Kids are allowed feelings

Holding space for feelings is so important. Kids need to be able to feel the full array of emotions life throws at them, just like we do. Their little, underdeveloped brains don't yet know how to deal with those emotions and that's where we come in.

We can respectfully hold space for our child's emotions without being permissive, threatening or allowing unsafe behaviours.

Holding these boundaries might sound like:

🖐️Catching your child's arm and saying "I won't let you hit"

🖐️Moving with your child to a space away from what's frustrating them "I'll help you move outside/to your room - we can try again later"

🖐️Removing item's they're being unsafe with. "I'm going to put that away for now"

🖐️Taking space for yourself to regulate "i'm going to step outside to calm my body. You're safe in here and I'll pop back in a minute"

😡shutting down our children's feelings and behaviours with anger and threatening can just teach them that we're not safe to have emotions around, or that they're bad kids for having the emotions at all.

We want them to learn that all feelings are ok, but there are SAFE ways to deal with them. It's our job to teach them that.

🍓if you're struggling and looking for support for behaviours and tantrums, head to the Zazi hub at zazi.co.nz and search the behaviour you're seeing for quick links to my previous posts.

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