Try this 👇

Praise is SO GREAT and we should always be looking to notice the good things our kids do more than we notice and comment on their not so great behaviours.

BUT...

Some phrases we commonly say on autopilot like "good job" and "You're so smart" might be impacting our kid's self esteem. We don't mean to do it of course, but here are the facts that may prompt you to try something different!

Praising the end result

When a child is praised for the OUTCOME of their work, like "lovely picture", "you won the race!", "good job writing your name", this may cause them to avoid tasks they feel they're not so good at. If they don't feel naturally good at something, they may worry about their abilities and reject learning experiences.

Research by Carol Dweck found that children who were praised more for the OUTCOME of their work were more likely to:
- choose an easier task they knew they were good at
- give up on a task quicker
- perform worse on a task

Why Effort-Based Praise Builds a Growth Mindset

When children are praised for their EFFORT, they’re more likely to develop a growth mindset.

This helps them understand that:

- Skills develop through practice

- Hard work matters

- Mistakes are part of learning

Children praised for effort are often more willing to:

- Try new things

- Persevere when tasks feel hard

- Keep going when something doesn’t come easily

What to Say Instead of “Good Job” (Effort-Based Praise Examples)

Here are some simple swaps that focus on effort, strategies and persistence, not outcomes:

For Effort & Persistence

• “You kept going even when that was tricky.”

• “I noticed how hard you worked on that.”

• “You didn’t give up and that took effort.”

• “You really concentrated on that.”

For Problem-Solving

• “You tried a few different ways to make that work.”

• “I like how you figured that out.”

• “What made you decide to do it that way?”

For Learning & Growth

• “You’re learning something new.”

• “That was tricky and you’re still practicing.”

• “You’ve improved since last time.”

For Creativity

• “Tell me about what you made.”

• “I can see you used lots of colours/details.”

• “You really thought about that.”

These kinds of comments help children link success to effort and learning, not just being “good” or “smart”.

You've got this.

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