My son won't share with his sister, what can I do?

My son won't share with his sister, what can I do?

Sharing isn’t caring.

Your child can’t share and that’s okay. It’s developmentally appropriate for our under five year olds to find it difficult to give away the thing that they’re really enjoying.

Their brains aren’t developed to think from someone else’s perspective about how they might be feeling.

So of course, they’re not going to give away the toy that they’re really enjoying. Also we don’t do that.

We don’t suddenly give our phones away to the next door neighbour. We’re not mid magazine and then just handing it over to our partners because they want it all of a sudden.

Sharing in fact isn’t all that caring. We’re essentially telling our children to give away the thing that they’re enjoying and that’s not fair. Here are some things that you can say instead:

I can see you real want that toy. Your sister’s having a turn at the moment. When she’s finished it can be your turn.

It looks like someone else is using that at the moment. What can we do while we wait for our turn?

That little boy is trying to take your differ off you because he really wants a turn. He doesn’t realise that he has to wait.

You have your full turn and when you’re finished, you can hand it to him.

A child that isn’t scaring, isn’t a bad child. Reset your expectations. You’re got this.

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