They're not being silly. We're not listening.
It’s so tempting to say things like “stop being silly, stop being silly, that’s enough” to our children, especially when they’re misbehaving in public.
We want people to know that they’re not like this all the time. We’re also so frustrated with them. We want them to behave. We think this is immature. When they’re misbehaving it’s super triggering as well. We don’t want them to behave like that.
It’s rubbing us up the wrong way.
It’s illogical what they’re doing. But if you’re tempted… stop. It is illogical because their brains aren’t full developed. So you being logical and saying you’re being silly isn’t going to help anything. It’s probably going to keep them misbehaving if I’m honest.
Remember all behaviour is communication and your little one is trying to communicate something to you. If they’re being silly, you’re refusing to do something. Refusing to follow your instructions it’s probably because they don’t want to do that thing.
There’s something about where you’re at that they don’t want to be in. And sometimes that’s self-preserving. It’s smart of them. Their insides are saying I don’t want to do this, this doesn’t feel safe.
So it’s not fair of us to come in and say you’re being silly. Instead, acknowledge their feelings.
Wow, you don’t want to do this class.
I can se you really don’t want to be in this shop anymore.
You really don’t want Sarah to touch your toys.
Show them that you’re happy to sit with their emotions and that you’re going to support them.
I’m here to help you when you’re ready.
I’ll help you move away.
I’ve nearly finished and then we’re going to leave.
Switch out our shame support. It’s going to make all the difference. You’ve got this.
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