Parenting is hard, and when we don’t know how to handle the behaviours our kids throw at us, we revert back to all we’ve ever known: how our parents parented and parents we’ve seen around us.
We love our little ones fiercely yet if we asked them “who’s has spoken to you unkindly the most” the answer would likely be us. Because we’re all just trying to cope and get by without any sort of parenting manual and we’ve learned over generations that shouting and threats WORK.
Even if they do work right now - once your little one works out you’re not going to follow through with the threat to bin their toys or leave without them, you lose your power. And if you do follow through you lose their trust and damage your relationship.
Thankfully we know from research now that being respectful and looking for opportunities to praise positive behaviour has the best impact on behaviour. It just takes practice.
So if you’re looking to gauge whether what you’ve said is respectful, consider whether you’d be happy if a teacher had said/done the same as you. If the answer is that you’d be incredibly angry, then you’re not a bad person, it’s time to apologise to your child and research a better way to handle the situation next time. I’m forever researching and learning.
You’ve got this.
Watch the full reel here