Coping ⬇️

If your kids are "angels" in one setting then struggle when they come home to you - please rest assured that you're doing a great job

Why Children Melt Down With Parents After Being “Good” Elsewhere

When we as parents are warm, loving, respectful and responsive then our kids learn that parental love is safe and they can relax and rest easy in that love.

Children often can't 'rest' as easily with other family members or teachers as there are different expectations in those environments, they haven't formed the same attachment to the adults and thus their nervous system is a little more primed for 'danger' - even if they aren't in actual danger.
It means they're not always being their full authentic selves and their feelings can build up.

Tantrums as a Sign of Safety and Attachment

When our kids return to us - sometimes they just pop. All of their emotions come out in for form of losing control. Behaviours, tantrums, meltdowns. They've held things in and 'masked' for so long and now they can relax. Not to mention they're managing the transition of being back in their typical environment and back to home rules.

How Parents Can Respond to Tantrums and Meltdowns

Don't take it personally. Try to take it ALL as a cry for help and connection and know that this time will pass. Being kind, calm and consistent goes a long way to re-setting our children. For us, a day of meltdowns and big feelings, today has been all about managing our expectations, gently holding boundaries, connecting through play and having a slowwwww day. Onwards and upwards for tomorrow.

You can find strategies and wording that you can say in tricky moments in the Zazi Hub - use the search bar to look for blogs!

You've got this.

Watch the full reel here