How to respond when your child is angry, frustrated or upset in public
What to say ⬇️
It's easy to fall into the habit of trying to stop kids crying or showing frustration. In public, their outbursts can feel embarrassing. At home, their emotional reactions can seem illogical and we just want an easy, quiet day.
But our kids don't yet know how to cope with their feelings. They learn EVERYTHING from how the adults around them deal with and respond to emotions - like little mirrors reflecting our skills back to us.
It's normal for kids to have ups and downs - just like us. We're not always happy.
DISMISSING or DISAPPROVING a child's emotions can sound like:
"calm down, it's ok"
"lets have some chocolate to take your mind off it"
"There's no need to be upset"
"You're being silly"
"Don't you dare stamp your foot at me"
"Well we won't be coming here again if this is how you respond"
SITTING COMFORTABLY with their emotions sounds different. Try this:
- "You're disappointed we had to turn the telly off, I hear you"
- "I find it hard to end screen time too"
- "It's ok to be sad about this"
- "I can remember feeling frustrated when I had to leave a party"
- "I'm here if you'd like a cuddle"
SITTING WITH EMOTIONS can be hard. Many of us as children were allowed to show happiness or boredom but we're dismissed or disapproved of when we showed anger, sadness or shame. It's a learning curve for us to know better and do better.
If in doubt in the moment, don't say anything. Just get to your child's level, nod and make your face show understanding. Be the calm in their storm.
Remember - You've got this.
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