It's not personal.
Your child isn't lashing out at you (physically or verbally) because you're a terrible parent.
Your child is losing it because they're dysregulated and YOU ARE THEIR SAFE SPACE. They're communicating "help me - I'm not in control".
Instead of losing it ourselves, shaming our children or taking it personally, we need to take a deep breath and remind ourselves that we're the ones with the emotionally mature brains - not our children.
We can hold boundaries and still be respectful.
" I won't let you hit me, I'm going to move my body away. I'm here when you're ready"
"You're really feeling frustrated. I get it. I'm going to move us to your room"
"here's a cushion you can squeeze. I'm listening."
Shouting to retaliate or 'teach them a lesson' doesn't work because brains can't learn when they're in a dysregulated state. Being calm is key.
Nobody gets it perfect all the time. Go easy on yourself. It takes a lot of practice and self compassion.
You've got this.
Watch the full reel here