When “no” feels like “yes”.
Imagine your boss just shutting down every idea you’ve ever had with a “no” or by physically stopping you?! You’d feel SO undervalued and micromanaged. Like none of your thoughts or preferences mattered.
That’s what it can feel like for our kids. They have underdeveloped brains, they’re trying to find their place in the world and they want some control of their lives. When what we say always feels like a no, it can become triggering, making them want to rebel or melt down.
Then in those moments parents often feel like they need to staunchly hold their boundary, describe their rationale or ignore their child for being ‘demanding’.
We can turn SO MUCH of that around by just using a ‘yes vibe’. Your voice validates their request/action, and it suggests something different in the meantime.
It’s NOT you being a pushover or pandering to your child’s every desire. It’s you recognising that they need a different tone and approach to cope with an existence where every decision they make has to be ran past an adult. It gives them back some mana, some independence, some control.
TRY the yes vibe next time your child asks for something they can’t have or does something you don’t want them to do.
Save this one for later and tag a friend who might also want to try a new strategy.
You’ve got this.
Watch the full reel here