If I told you there’s a bloke watching you at all times to ensure you’re doing everything perfectly, you’d probably freak out.

Now imagine there’s also a camera in your lounge so he can check in regularly—sounds unsettling, right? Sadly, this is the reality many children face during the festive season. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake" was already questionable, but add the ever-present Elf on the Shelf reporting back to Santa, and it becomes downright creepy.

Not only is this idea unsettling, but threatening kids with "behave or else" tactics simply doesn’t work. Here’s why:

The Problems with Santa as a Threat

1. Empty Threats: You're always going to give your kids presents, regardless of behavior. They’ll quickly figure out the threats are hollow.

2. Unrealistic Expectations: Kids can’t behave perfectly all day—it's not developmentally appropriate.

3. Impact on Self-Worth: Labelling kids as "naughty" can harm their self-esteem. Children who internalize this label often misbehave more because they believe that's just who they are.

What You Can Do Instead

1. Change Your Mindset: Encourage children to behave because it’s the right thing to do, not just to earn presents. Use strategies that work year-round, not just at Christmas.

2. Positive Reinforcement: Focus on praising good behavior. Highlighting positive actions helps kids feel good when they behave well.

3. Set Calm Boundaries: Clearly explain what they should do instead of just focusing on what they shouldn’t. Example: "I can’t let you do that. Put the food you don’t want on your plate, and I’ll help you."

4. Use Immediate Consequences: Address behaviour in the moment. For example, if your child hits, say, "I can’t let you hit your brother because it hurts. Let’s move away and have some quiet time."

5. Introduce a Reward System: Use a token system like a sticker chart. Never take away earned tokens, and make the rewards achievable—4-5 tokens equals a small reward.

By focusing on connection, calmness, and positive reinforcement, you can guide your child to better behavior without the need for fear-based tactics.