Stop Saying "Use Your Words" (and say this instead)

Stop Saying "Use Your Words" (and say this instead)

It's frustrating, I get it. Your smart and eloquent little person is suddenly whinging, misbehaving and lashing out and you're thinking "JUST USE YOUR WORDS!!". I think it every day. But it's important we don't say it.

The thing is, when stressed, the part of the brain that problem solves and comes up with the words required actually SHUTS OFF. So whatever behaviour you're seeing is literally all your little one has in the tank. If they COULD do better then truly, they WOULD.

It's not about us letting bad behaviours slide, it's about us being the calm rock that they need and the firm caregiver that stops anyone getting hurt but gives them space to have their emotions.

REMEMBER. Shouting at your child in these moments doesn't 'teach them a lesson'. It physically can't because the learning part of their brain has switched off.

Shouting only scares children and sends their brain I to flight or fight mode. In the past, adults have mistaken this response for good behaviour and 'respect'. But fear DOES NOT EQUAL RESPECT.

Next time you're frustrated and tempted to tell your child to use their words, take a deeeeeep breath, remind yourself they're asking for help, and follow the steps below:

Use your words 1Use your words 2Use your words 3Use your words 4Use your words 5


You've got this.

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Hands down my favourite sign we ever used was help. Somehow, when they are mid meltdown and can’t find the words they want, we can take a big deep breath and ask for help!! Amazing.

It’s an awesome one for the “no I’ll do it” meltdowns! Do you need some help with your zip? Or would you like me to help you? Or I can see you are trying to work that out on your own, let me know if you need some help!

Becca